I am not set up for fiddling with computers. Paint, paper and all things hands on are more my thing, so tackling the daunting task of setting up this website has been instructional (for which you can read that I drank gin so I didn't throw my computer through a window)
The thing about chasing pictures and structure on computers is that you can't pick it up and place it, it's like trying to catch air and stick it down with rain, or something.
I'm not sure if this should be some kind of introduction to me, or to what I do, or whether I should just leap in and get on with saying what my brain is playing with at the moment with regards to work. So maybe just jumping in is easier ...
There is a fairly constant juggling of stuff that goes on. A balance to be struck between general life (house/kids/dogs/distractions) and elbowing space to think, walk, draw and paint. I draw weekly during term times to make myself concentrate, hone how I see and try and make it second nature to feel the figure on the page. I paint intermittently, not every day, but in an immersive way, so hopefully what I end up with is a figure that stands with authority (of a sort) or some presence. When I want to paint, but can't work out the next step with a figure, I look for 'stuff' - lemons or paint tubes or both, or whatever.
It's easy for me to fall into being melancholic about not having done this years ago, and for letting other bits of life push me about like some kind of flotsam in the water (really my choice, after all not making choices is a choice in itself, right?) but it feels good to be getting on with it now.
I do at least know that I'm beginning to make some sort of progress (even if that only means heading into the studio occasionally with actual purpose). David Bowie said that the most interesting things tend to happen when you're in a place where you feel as if you're just out of your depth. So it's time to keep pushing forward and outwards and keep plugging away and see what happens.